💋 Hey babes — Happy Wednesday!

I’ve always been a doer.

If there’s a problem, I figure it out. If something needs to get done, I do it.

Work, family, dogs, horses, travel, the never-ending list of little things that somehow need my attention — I’m usually the person making sure everything keeps moving.

And honestly, I like being that person.

I like being dependable. I like taking care of the people and things I love. I like knowing that when something goes wrong, I can handle it. But lately, I’ve been thinking about something:

Who takes care of the person who takes care of everything?

👇 Scroll down, because maybe some of you need this reminder too.

Cheers & martinis!
Frances
@GalOffDuty

IN PARTNERSHIP w/ BetterHelp

Today’s Newsletter Is Elevated by BetterHelp! I think one of the hardest parts about taking care of yourself is actually making the time to do it.

Why I Look To BetterHelp:
💻 It’s online. Therapy can happen from somewhere that feels comfortable and private, without adding another drive or waiting room to the day.

🗓️ It can work around real life. Flexible scheduling makes it easier to find time around work, family, travel, and everything else already on the calendar.

🏡 You can connect from your own space. Sometimes being somewhere familiar makes opening up feel a little more approachable.

💳 There may be more ways to pay. Eligible members may have additional payment options available, including potential insurance coverage.*

🧠 It makes support feel more within reach. Because taking care of yourself should include your mind, too.

Insurance options may be available for eligible BetterHelp members.

When Being “Fine” Becomes Automatic

I think some of us get so good at functioning that we forget functioning and actually processing what we’re feeling are two completely different things.

You wake up.

Answer the emails.

Go to work.

Solve the problem.

Make the appointment.

Check on everyone.

Show up. Laugh. Make plans for next week.

Life keeps moving, so you keep moving with it.

And from the outside, you’re fine.

Maybe you are fine.

But being okay doesn’t mean you don’t have things weighing on you.

It doesn’t mean you don’t get overwhelmed, tired, confused, or simply need a moment where you aren’t responsible for anyone or anything else.

You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to acknowledge that you’re carrying a lot.

Two Things Can Be True

I love my life.

I’m grateful for the businesses we’ve built, my family, my animals, the places I get to go, the dreams I’m still chasing, and even some of the chaos that comes with all of it.

But I’ve realized gratitude and overwhelm can exist at the exact same time.

You can love your career and still be exhausted.

You can love taking care of people and sometimes wish someone would take care of you.

You can be excited about the future and still not know exactly what you want it to look like.

You can be strong and still have days when things feel heavy.

Two things can be true at once.

And giving yourself permission to acknowledge both doesn’t take away from either one.

Not Everything Needs to Be Fixed

This might be the hardest one for the problem-solvers.

When something feels wrong, our first instinct is to fix it.

What happened?

Why do I feel this way?

What am I supposed to do?

What’s the solution?

But maybe every feeling doesn’t need an immediate solution.

Sometimes you need somewhere to say the things you haven’t said out loud yet.

Somewhere to untangle your thoughts without worrying about anyone else’s feelings, expectations, or opinions.

Sometimes the answer comes simply from giving yourself enough space to actually hear yourself.

And sometimes you realize there isn’t an answer yet.

That’s okay too.

Put Yourself Back on Your Own List

I’m probably always going to be the person checking on everyone.

I’ll worry about the dogs.

Obsess over the horses.

Answer messages when I should probably put my phone down.

Make lists for my lists and convince myself I can somehow fit three days’ worth of responsibilities into one afternoon.

That’s me.

I don’t think taking care of yourself means becoming a completely different person.

Maybe it just means remembering that you are one of the people you’re responsible for taking care of, too.

And self-care isn’t always the pretty version we see online.

Sometimes it’s a vacation or a long dinner with your favorite people.

But sometimes it’s setting a boundary.

Sometimes it’s asking for help.

Sometimes it’s giving yourself permission to change your mind.

And sometimes it’s simply admitting:

“I have a lot on my mind, and I need somewhere to put it.”

You don’t always need to have the answer.

You don’t always have to hold everything together.

Because even the person who takes care of everything deserves a place where, for once, they don’t have to.

Cheers & martinis,

Frances

@GalOffDuty